Stillness

I’m still learning to be still…

I’m still learning to be still, the lyrics that helped me get through one of the most difficult, yet empowering time of my life – divorce. Lauren Daigle is by far one of my favorite artists. I love all of her songs but one of my favorites is This Girl. It’s my favorite song because of one line. It grabbed me immediately. I knew in my heart that if I could learn how to be still, I would find the answers from within.

Going through a divorce was difficult for the obvious reasons; losing your family, losing a person who once was my lover and losing my identity. Not only was I struggling with all that, but I was also struggling with a good amount of shame. Ashamed that my marriage failed, ashamed I chose the wrong person to so called spend the rest of my life with, and ashamed to be 47 and single again.

Growing up in an Italian family, divorce wasn’t very common and when it happened, there wasn’t much empathy around it. Telling my mom and sisters was one of the hardest things for me to do. It literally took me months to build up the courage to tell my family and other close friends. For months I struggled without the support I needed. When I look back, I’m not sure what I was worried about because my family and friends embraced me with all the love, comfort and support. It was the shame that created unnecessary fears and predictions that just didn’t come true. Shame eats you alive and tells you lies.

Over time, the shame slowly disappeared. It did take years for me to completely release it. I found myself struggling for the longest time with saying “I’m divorced”. It’s amazing how shame shows up in our lives and how destructive it can be. Learning to be still helped me learn to release the shame and get comfortable with where I was in my life – exactly where I was supposed to be.

This photo was taken in Fairhope, Alabama, a special place I set out to visit when I began my Live You Now healing journey. A yearlong travel sabbatical to discover me. When I took this picture, Stella and I were walking along the beach. She was chasing whatever piqued her interest and I thought about how I wanted to design the next chapter of my life. That day, I made the decision to embrace every day with curiosity, gratitude, and joy – just like Stella!

The one word that best describes this picture is STILLNESS. This picture will always help me remember that stillness is the most powerful remedy when struggling to heal, get clarity or simply be at peace.

Live You Now: Find 11 minutes in your day to be still. You don’t have to close your eyes or sit in an uncomfortable position, just turn off your cell phones and be in stillness.

XOXO